Confident Mushrooms

I stand there.  Faces looking back at me. Silence.  Mouths agape.  No facial motion.  

No, this isn’t a scene from a horror movie.  It’s what happens when you try to talk to children today.  I have come to call it the “Mushroom Effect,” and have banned it from the school. You may hear “No Mushrooms!!” echoing off the walls of the dojang.

Why mushrooms?  Because mushrooms are silent.  And they have that little hat that partially covers their face and a slightly bent down posture.  Mushrooms grow in dark, damp places and don’t speak up for themselves.  Ever hear a mushroom complain?  Say no?  Say stop?  Me neither.

Many people enroll in Taekwondo to gain discipline, self-control and confidence.  All these things are possible, but all come from little lessons, practices and actions done every day on the mat (and reinforced at home). 

Lack of confidence can lead to self-doubt, which can then lead to a diminishing opinion of self and self-worth. Without a solid sense of self, people are at risk for depression and all of its dangers and vices.

Confidence allows us to say, “Stop!”

Confidence allows us to say, “No!”

Confidence allows us to say, “I don’t know, please teach me."

Now please don’t confuse confidence with arrogance, cockiness or boastfulness.  These are negative attributes when one is OVER-confident or protecting their total void of confidence. Over-confidence can get you in all kinds of trouble.

I know people are shy.  Believe it or not, I’m shy!  But being a Taekwondo practitioner means we have to work on those things in our lives that are lacking, uncomfortable or sub-par.

So in the dojang, we are going to continue to work on confidence.  

1. If someone is talking to you stop and look at them

2. If someone tells you something, respond!  Say “Yes” or “No,” or “I don’t understand."  I think this last one is the crux of the problem with many children today.  Kids are so programmed to be quiet and do the right thing that they are TERRIFIED of giving the wrong answer, or performing the wrong thing.  Remember, the dojang is a place where it’s okay to make mistakes.

3. Pick up your head and eyes.  Confident people don’t stare at the ground or look away when someone talks to them.

4. Don’t fidget and play with your uniform and belt.  It’s okay to be nervous, but don’t move when at attention or in ready position.  This is a demonstration of your confidence and self-control.

5. Kihop!  What better expression of your confidence, your power, your focus, your energy than a great kihop?!  Remember, body, spirit and mind are all inter-connected.  What influences one, influences them all.  Have a strong spirit, and your body will become stronger. 

I believe confidence makes the world a better place.  When you’re confident, you hold your head high and look around.  You’re sure of yourself, and not afraid to interact.  You’re at peace with yourself and aren’t afraid of the differences of others.  You have the power to stand up for yourself, the weak, the underserved and voiceless.  You have the power to do the right thing.  You have that gift to look at someone and say hello, or thank you, or can you help me?  

Having the confidence to look at someone and say “hello” might just make someone’s day.  And if each of us could make just one person’s day a little brighter, the world would be a better place.

So, pick your head up, get on the mat, and train hard.