Mountains in the morning, beach in the afternoon

He’s gone….

That’s all the text said.  I knew it was coming, but it still…..

“After a long battle with cancer”.  I hate these words.  Even more now since they represent the cruel, twisted irony they played for Dr. Hanna Khoury.  You see, Dr. Khoury spent his life fighting against, treating and researching a cure for cancer as an oncologist. 

I met Hanna and his family when I first moved to Atlanta.  We trained together at another Taekwondo school here in Decatur around 2003.  Immediately, I knew he was the real deal.  Kind, soft-spoken, intelligent and from the “Old-School” of Taekwondo.  He loved Taekwondo, and he made me love Taekwondo even more.  I always loved teaching and training when he was on the mat.  He inspired me to give my best through his spirit and effort.

When I opened Atlanta’s United Taekwondo in 2006, I called Hanna and asked him to come with me on this new adventure.  Without hesitation, he and his family came.  I never forgot that loyalty.  By taking that leap of faith, he and his family molded and determined the shape, culture and community that we have now.

Hanna spoke three languages, was a world-renowned leader in the research and treatment of cancer, and traveled the world giving lectures and courses to physicians waging daily battle against this disease.  He worked incredibly hard, and many long hours, but always made time to come train.  I always teased him, “Don’t work too hard”, as he was getting dressed after class to go back to the hospital. 

For someone that was so important, so successful, he was incredibly down to earth.  He was the most humble man.  Someone like that could build an ego that would prevent him from fitting through doorways.  Not Hanna.

Not only a 4^th degree black belt in Taekwondo, Hanna was an avid runner and bicyclist.  I was always amazed by his athleticism.  Hanna was an incredible father and husband.  His three beautiful children (Mikhail, Iman, Alya) and his lovely wife (Angela) have all been students of mine.  They all share his intelligence, kindness, humility and love to smile.  Iman continues to train.  She is currently a fourth degree black belt with an unlimited potential ahead of her.  Mikhail has grown-up, moved away and become a successful adult. Alya is busy with school and friends.

A year my senior, I looked up to and admired Hanna.  I hope he knew just how much I loved him.

I have lost three great men in my life in the last six months.  My father (Terry Mast), my Master (Grandmaster Moo Yong Lee) and now my friend.  These men made me, molded me and inspired me.  I now live without them.  Sometimes I feel a little lost.  Rudderless.  But then I realize that I’m not lost.  I realize that their lessons, guidance, and friendship have become the rudder for my life.

Hanna and I would often talk of traveling together to his native land of Lebanon.  It was on our “To-Do” list.  “We’ll go to the mountains in the morning, then to the beach in the afternoon”, he would always say. 

I promise you my friend, this has moved from my “To-Do” list, to my “Must Do” list.  I will make this trip, and think fondly of you. 

Rest in peace.

Dinner with Dad

I had dinner with my dad tonight.  Chicken salad sandwich, green beans, a banana, some fruit juice and coffee.  Nothing exceptional, except that it came on a tray; in a cafeteria.  And my father ate it as he sat in his wheelchair in a nursing home.

Dad’s health has been slowly declining. Losing the battle against Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s disease.  It’s been about a year since I’ve seen him, and the decline was stunning.  I felt like it’d been kicked in the gut.  He’s pretty much completely non-verbal now.  He’s unable to stand or walk, drools uncontrollably, has difficulty sitting up straight, and moans on every exhaled breath.  But he’s IN there.  Long periods of distant stares are suddenly punctuated by a word, a hand reaching out with purpose, an appropriate facial expression or that focused stare. 

I cried today.  A lot.  I cried for the sadness of his current health.  I cried for the unknown amount of time I have left with him.  I cried for all the pain and hardship his wife has gone through dealing with this.  I cried as I realized all the missed times and opportunities.  And I cried as I wondered if I was looking at my future self.  Tears ran down my cheeks as I helped him put his juice back on the tray.  Tears filled my eyes and ran over my nose as I wiped food from his mouth and nose like I did a thousand times for my kids when they were babies. 

As he ate I looked around at the other residents and staff.  Again I cried.  Each of them eating alone with difficulty, fading from their earthly forms.  I wondered what they were before this.  I know what my father was and how alive he was.  So I tried to pick which resident shuffling past me might have been a doctor, or teacher, or a mother, or a scientist?

I cried in embarrassment for the way I thought about nursing home patients and staff when I was a paramedic.  I saw amazing, beautiful acts of simple kindness tonight.  I saw staff holding a hand.  I saw staff directing a confused resident with care and compassion.  I saw staff help a resident put on shoes and a sweater.  Acts that a young man couldn’t appreciate at the time, but his older self, suddenly confronted with the reality that these staff are caring for HIS father, came to appreciate very quickly.

My dad lives in NY.  I live in Atlanta.  I’m not sure when I can see him again.  But I know that even though this trip was disruptive to my personal and business life, it was worth it.  Totally and completely worth it.  I spent good time with him, sharing stories and memories, updating him about our lives, and what the kids are doing.  At one point, while I was telling a story about my son, he laughed.  And I heard the “old” him for a brief, precious moment.  I will cherish that laugh forever.

So how does all of this tie back into a lesson on Taekwondo?  “Be loving and show fidelity to your parents.”  This is one of the Taekwondo rules of Mental Education based on the ancient Hwarang, commandments.  The Hwarang (which loosely translates to "Flowering Youth or Knights") were an elite group of male youth in Silla, (an ancient Korean kingdom) who were trained in martial arts as well as culture and artistry.  It means appreciate your parents and what they do for you.  What they have done for you, and what they will and would do for you.  Reach out to them, say thank you, and tell them you love them.

“Courtesy”, is one of the five tenets of Taekwondo.  Be nice to people.  ALL people.  Regardless of… well…everything.  Just be nice and treat everyone with dignity and respect no matter who or what they are.  As Taekwondo people, we must always try to live by these simple rules. 

So until the next time I see you on the mat….go call, visit, Skype, text, FaceTime, email, or write your parents!

Being a good student

If knowledge is power, why do we waste it? 

If knowledge is a gift, why do we throw it away or not even accept it?

This blog is about being a good student.  Not just a good academic student, or Taekwondo student.  I’m talking about being a good student for everything in life.  Whenever you have an opportunity to learn something new from a teacher. 

So when I use the word “teacher” I mean anyone that is imparting knowledge or skill or information to you.  This could be a coach, teacher, instructor, friend, mentor, guest speaker or even your own student.

So here is Master Mast’s top 5 strategies to use in becoming a good student, and a few things to avoid.

Things to DO to become a good student

• 1.       Have a curious mind.  Be inquisitive, ask questions.  Don’t try to be a know-it-all.  Be motivated.  Motivation is the mental spark that energizes a person for action[1].
• 2.       Be disciplined.  Set up and stick to regular study/practice habits.
• 3.       Be malleable and coachable.  Be open to change and willing and ready to MAKE that change when directed to do so.  Clay is just a formless, shapeless lump when left alone.  But when picked up, and formed, squeezed, pushed, pulled, fired, and painted, it becomes beautiful pottery.  Even stone can even be shaped into art.  But the human mind and attitude will remain unchanged, undeveloped, if attitude and willingness prevent it.
• 4.       Study and seek additional information outside the classroom.  Try to fill in the gaps, or reinforce what you already learned.
• 5.       Listen!  Really listen.  Actively listen.  Don’t just wait for your turn to talk.  Show the teacher you understand or don’t understand as they speak.  Be attentive.  Show respect with your facial expressions and body language.  Teachers respond to the energy in a room so be a source of good energy.

Things to AVOID as a good student

• 1.       Don’t be disruptive. 
• 2.       Failure to study
• 3.       Being a show-off or know it all.  Even if you’re the expert in the room, show respect, humility and dignity to the speaker.  Try to learn one new thing.  Or a variation on something you already know.  Impossible?  Then try to meet someone new.  Make a new contact or friend in the room.

Are these lists complete?  Of course not.  But they're a good starting point.

I’ve taught in one capacity or another for my entire adult life.   As a paramedic, I taught new paramedics during their classroom and initial field training.  I taught doctors, nurses, dentists and other paramedics in specialized training courses such as Advanced Cardiac Life Support (ACLS), Pediatric Advanced Life Support (PALS), Neonatal Advanced Life Support (NALS), Pre-Hospital Trauma Life Support (PHTLS), and good old fashioned Cardio-Pulmonary Resuscitation (CPR). 

When I was at the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) here in Atlanta, I taught public health professionals how to respond to and operate in emergency and disaster situations.  And now I have the amazing, fun privilege of teaching all of you.

Always be grateful for a teacher who cares.  Someone who pushes you, wants you to improve.  Teachers teach because they like, love, believe in the material they are presenting.  They like sharing it.

Being a good student doesn’t mean you’re the best.  Or the smartest.  Or the fastest.  It just means you have good habits and an open mind.

So be a good student and I’ll see you on the mat!

---

[1] Teaching Martial Arts.  The Way of the Master, Sang H. Kim

Confident Mushrooms

I stand there.  Faces looking back at me. Silence.  Mouths agape.  No facial motion.  

No, this isn’t a scene from a horror movie.  It’s what happens when you try to talk to children today.  I have come to call it the “Mushroom Effect,” and have banned it from the school. You may hear “No Mushrooms!!” echoing off the walls of the dojang.

Why mushrooms?  Because mushrooms are silent.  And they have that little hat that partially covers their face and a slightly bent down posture.  Mushrooms grow in dark, damp places and don’t speak up for themselves.  Ever hear a mushroom complain?  Say no?  Say stop?  Me neither.

Many people enroll in Taekwondo to gain discipline, self-control and confidence.  All these things are possible, but all come from little lessons, practices and actions done every day on the mat (and reinforced at home). 

Lack of confidence can lead to self-doubt, which can then lead to a diminishing opinion of self and self-worth. Without a solid sense of self, people are at risk for depression and all of its dangers and vices.

Confidence allows us to say, “Stop!”

Confidence allows us to say, “No!”

Confidence allows us to say, “I don’t know, please teach me."

Now please don’t confuse confidence with arrogance, cockiness or boastfulness.  These are negative attributes when one is OVER-confident or protecting their total void of confidence. Over-confidence can get you in all kinds of trouble.

I know people are shy.  Believe it or not, I’m shy!  But being a Taekwondo practitioner means we have to work on those things in our lives that are lacking, uncomfortable or sub-par.

So in the dojang, we are going to continue to work on confidence.  

1. If someone is talking to you stop and look at them

2. If someone tells you something, respond!  Say “Yes” or “No,” or “I don’t understand."  I think this last one is the crux of the problem with many children today.  Kids are so programmed to be quiet and do the right thing that they are TERRIFIED of giving the wrong answer, or performing the wrong thing.  Remember, the dojang is a place where it’s okay to make mistakes.

3. Pick up your head and eyes.  Confident people don’t stare at the ground or look away when someone talks to them.

4. Don’t fidget and play with your uniform and belt.  It’s okay to be nervous, but don’t move when at attention or in ready position.  This is a demonstration of your confidence and self-control.

5. Kihop!  What better expression of your confidence, your power, your focus, your energy than a great kihop?!  Remember, body, spirit and mind are all inter-connected.  What influences one, influences them all.  Have a strong spirit, and your body will become stronger. 

I believe confidence makes the world a better place.  When you’re confident, you hold your head high and look around.  You’re sure of yourself, and not afraid to interact.  You’re at peace with yourself and aren’t afraid of the differences of others.  You have the power to stand up for yourself, the weak, the underserved and voiceless.  You have the power to do the right thing.  You have that gift to look at someone and say hello, or thank you, or can you help me?  

Having the confidence to look at someone and say “hello” might just make someone’s day.  And if each of us could make just one person’s day a little brighter, the world would be a better place.

So, pick your head up, get on the mat, and train hard.

Beware of falling monkeys!

My master, Grandmaster Moo Yong Lee was in town this weekend to sit on the board for the black belt test.  Over the years, I have seen him many times calm and refocus test candidates as they struggle to perform or remember something during a test.

“Even the monkey falls from the tree,” he will say.  He uses it in his usual calm, kind manner when correcting a mistake.  He admitted to me this weekend that this is one of his favorite sayings.  Its origins are a Korean proverb… 원숭이도 (even the monkey)나무에서 (tree, from) 떨어진다 (falls)

Humans aren’t perfect.  Neither are experts on their designated areas of expertise.  So if you are a mathematician and you solved a problem incorrectly, it doesn’t matter. Even experts make mistakes some times.  Though if you are a wrist watch repairman and you break a watch…just worry more about how you will deal with that customer.

Perfection and its attainment, is a goal of Taekwondo training.  The perfect, kick or punch with power, speed, accuracy, snap.  The perfect poomse.  The perfect balance of spirit, mind and body.

But here’s the secret.  It’s impossible.  You cannot always achieve it.  And when you do, it will be nearly impossible to reproduce it the next time.  It’s the nature of the universe. There must be balance in all things.  Between order & disorder, matter & anti-matter, love & hate, perfection & mistakes.

No one likes making a mistake.  Not even me!  It took me many years to finally be ok with, and confident enough to make a mistake.

This lesson is important for students and teachers in ANY field.   First for the students.   It’s ok to fail!!  Ok to make a mistake.  Sometimes, the way we learn best is by doing something wrong the first time.  We learn how NOT to do something.  Unfortunately, many times we don’t even TRY new things for fear of not being good enough, or making a mistake or getting embarrassed. 

The second part of this lesson is for those of you that are teachers, instructors or parents.  It’s ok let your students make mistakes!!  Our job is to give our students a comfortable, safe environment, where it’s ok to make a mistake.  Force them to work a situation out on their own.  And support them if they fail.  Start with wide, forgiving boundaries and tolerances.  Then make them tighter and stricter over time.

Growing up I had wonderful man in my life, Father George Schemel.  George, as we knew him, was a Jesuit priest that worked with my aunt.  Incredibly kind, and extremely intelligent George was there for me many times to provide support, compassion and guidance. Noticing that the young boy in front of him hated to make a mistake, he explained to me how to handle mistakes and embarrassment.  He told me to let these things hit me like a wave of water, wash over me, and then be gone.  Don’t let it linger.  Be done with it.

One thing I truly don’t like and don’t allow is self-destructive language.  Being self-deprecating and humble is fine, but you should never beat yourself up, or put yourself down endlessly for something.  Bruce Lee once said, “The mind is a fertile place…”.  Meaning whatever you plant there will grow.  Be that positive OR negative.

So…stand up straight; chin up.  Try your best.  Who knows maybe you’ll fail.  And if you do, let it 

wash over you.  Then, get up, dust off, and try again.

Keep training hard and I’ll see you on the mat!

Hey can you hand me that?

Here in America, we hand things to each other all the time without regard for how we do it. Clothes, food, money, left hand, right hand, sitting, standing, passing by. But have you ever thought about how you hand something to someone? How you are standing? What your hands are doing?

In Taekwondo and Korean culture it REALLY matters! Respect for others according to seniority is a pillar of Korea's Confucianist traditions. Seniority is based on age, position in the family, job position, being a teacher, etc.

How you deliver or receive an item demonstrates your respect for the other person. Handing or receiving something with only one hand, or without a simultaneous bow is considered disrespectful.

So here's how to do it right: just remember to stop, stand, use both hands and bow. When you give or receive something small enough to use only one hand (i.e. a pen), make sure your other hand is below your elbow or forearm (palm up), as if the weight of what you are giving is so heavy that you need both hands to support it. As the item is transferred between people, give a bow to the person. Remember, the depth of the bow corresponds to the seniority of the other person. The more senior they are to you, the deeper the bow.

To show even more respect, especially to an elder, use two hands to receive the item as you bow, regardless of the size of the item.

A simple custom, but one that visibly demonstrates the courtesy, respect, discipline and humility that make Taekwondo people great!

Until next time, train hard and I'll see you on the mat!

What if Taekwondo weren't there for you?

"We train for the fight we hope never happens."  I say this all the time.

A couple times a week, we come to class and kick, punch, sweat and yell.  We get color tapes on our belts, take our promotion tests, and move slowly up towards black belt. All the time believing we are getting better, stronger, faster.  But are we kidding ourselves?

What if you really needed Taekwondo to be there for you....and it wasn't?  What if you really needed to protect yourself, or someone you love, and your block wasn't strong enough?  What if your kick or strike didn't finish the job?

Taekwondo is wonderful because it offers a little something to everyone.  It offers physical exercise, self-defense, Olympic Sport, a community, a family, an avenue for stress-relief, and a moral code to live by.

But at its core, Taekwondo is a martial art. A series of techniques designed to defend against, and defeat an attacker.  So how do we train for this?  How do we prepare ourselves for a real punch?  A real grab? Delivering a real strike that will disable an attacker?

The answer is we do it in layers.  Each building upon the other to strengthen, toughen and prepare ourselves. The first layer is poomse and basic techniques alone against the air.  No resistance.  Just concentrating on technique.  Next is kicking and striking against the hand-held targets (affectionately called "Pork Chops" here at ATLU TKD).  Next is the heavy bag, or large body targets.  We then move on to one-step sparring, free sparring, and self-defense work with a partner.  Each of these allows us to safely practice our techniques with speed, power, and accuracy against an opponent without injuring them.

One of the most important layers is board breaking.  That said, I must admit, that Mr. Miyagi was right when asked by Daniel, Can you break that?.  "Don't know...Never been attacked by tree".  It's a great line.  But board breaking allows us to see, feel, demonstrate and experience just how hard, how powerful, how accurate our techniques really are (or aren't).  They also allow us to conquer our internal self-doubt and fear.  They give us a reality check of just how powerful we are....or are not.  Our boards come in three thicknesses:  demo, small adult, then adult (1" thick).  Each harder to break than the previous.  Able to break one Adult board with your side kick?  Great!  Now let's try two.

In order to train for a fight, one must train hard.  Punch hard.  Kick hard.  And if you think about it, you have to train HARDER than the other guy!

So how do we stop fooling ourselves and prepare properly?  Like most things in the martial arts, it's slow, steady practice.  It starts by making a conscious decision to try your hardest...EVERY DAY.  Is this easy?  No.  Will there be days you don't do it?  Of course.  But the goal is to TRY.  Ask yourself:   Are my hands and feet sore after hitting the heavy bag or body targets?  Am I pushing myself during basic techniques to be as fast, smooth, sharp, and balanced as I can?  Did I just do that One-Step with power, speed, accuracy and control?  Did I practice that self-defense technique like my life really depended on it, or did I just go through the motions?  If the answer is no to any of these questions, then you're not training hard enough.

Now, I KNOW that training is not always fun.  Sometimes it's uncomfortable, even painful.  And no one likes pain.  But it's accepting and pushing through the unpleasantness of today that makes us stronger for tomorrow.

Until next time, train hard and I'll see you on the mat.